05 September 2011

The door swung open...

It's time for Rachael Harrie's first campaigner challenge! The challenge is to write a piece of flash fiction in 200 words or less. The first words need to be, "The door swung open." For an additional challenge, include the words, "The door swung shug," at the end. AND for an even greater challenge, make your story exactly 200 words (yes, yes I did this ;)

If you like my piece, head on over to Rach's site and 'Like' my entry, #39!

Monster

The door swung open and Magnolia-Rose stared into her dark closet where a purple fuzzy animal sat.
“Aren’t you supposed to be under my bed?” Maggie asked.
“I…uh...”
“You’re supposed to be under my bed.” Maggie stomped her feet. “You’re the monster, I’m the little girl and you’re supposed to scare me.”
Grrump whimpered.
“I know you like the closet. I know it’s roomy and you like sleeping on my dirty clothes, but my closet is not where you’re supposed to spend the night.”
Grrump unrolled. His body lengthened until he stood twice as high as Maggie. A white horn protruded from between two red and black eyes.
“Go,” Maggie poked Grrump in the belly and pointed toward the bed. “Go do your job.”
Grrump moo-ed and wobbled toward the bed. His flat feet crunched over blocks scattered across the ground. Bending down, he began to slide under the bed until his horn stuck against the bed-frame. “Too big,” he said.
“But you have to fit.” Maggie gripped the closet door.
The spikes on Grrump’s back swung as he made his way across the room to huddle on top of Maggie’s dirty clothes.
Maggie screamed and the door swung shut.
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52 comments:

  1. 1000th.monkeySeptember 5, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Hahaha! So cute! Reminds me of 'Monsters Inc.'

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  2. Nadja NotarianiSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    Liked that Maggie was upset that the monster wasn't 'doing-it-right'! Sweet and cute. ~ Nadja

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  3. Alleged AuthorSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:38 AM

    Too cute!

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  4. Christine MurraySeptember 5, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    Aw! I loved this :)

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  5. The East CoasterSeptember 5, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Awwww....how cute!

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  6. Michelle FayardSeptember 5, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    Congratulations, Juliana! You've won a copy of Jessica McCann's debut historical novel, All Different Kinds of Free. When you have a moment, please let me know your mailing address, so the publisher can get a copy of the book to you.

    I hope this finds you having a great holiday weekend and, again, congratulations!

    Michelle

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  7. Avery MarshSeptember 5, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    Cute and so funny. I love their names.

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  8. ruth.the.writerSeptember 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Very cute. I enjoyed your story :)

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  9. bridgetstraub.comSeptember 5, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    I love how different this is from all the others. Very original! I'm #72

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  10. Jessica LoveSeptember 5, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    So adorable! I love it!

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  11. Angela CothranSeptember 5, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    I love this so much!!! I would not mess with Maggie if I were a monster. I guess she had to learn some time what slacker monsters can be. Great job!

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  12. Tara TylerSeptember 6, 2011 at 3:52 AM

    its frustrating when a monster doesnt live up to expectations!
    great piece =)

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  13. Chantele SedgwickSeptember 6, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    Cute!! I loved it! It reminded me of Monster's Inc. as well! :D

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  14. writing and living by Richard P HughesSeptember 6, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    That sounds like a friendly monster.
    Congrats on winning the free copy of the book.

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  15. Coleen PatrickSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    So cute Juliana! Loved that Maggie was the intimidating one :)

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  16. Juliana L. BrandtSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    I'm really glad you guys like it. It really made me think of Monsters Inc. when I wrote it too :)

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  17. Cortney PearsonSeptember 6, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Silly monster! What a fun story, and I love their names!

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  18. Gwen GardnerSeptember 6, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    Awww, the closet is just as scary! Can't he stay in there? I loved this! I'm a new follower:)

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  19. David P. KingSeptember 6, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Nice! Tell that monster whose boss, little girl! Love it. Great post, Juliana! :)

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  20. DeanaSeptember 6, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    This is completely adorable! I want a cute scary monster to sleep on my dirty clothes:)

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  21. Sophia ChangSeptember 6, 2011 at 6:31 PM

    I LOVE that first dialogue line!

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  22. JessSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    This is ridiculously cute. What a precocious little girl, and I love that the monster resists doing what the girl thinks will be scary. So good!

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  23. lindySeptember 7, 2011 at 6:50 AM

    I don't want to say what everyone else has said, but darn it, it is cute! I enjoyed this, Juliana. (And I love Mosters, Inc. When he was 3, my eldest went as Sully for halloween--head to toe in blue and purple fur. I melted!)

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  24. catherinemjohnson.comSeptember 7, 2011 at 7:33 AM

    That the first thing I thought of too, Monsters Inc. Wonderful!

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  25. UnknownSeptember 7, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    Lovely twist on the monster angle.

    We could use just such a humorous entry at The Rule of Three Blogfest ---a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great prizes, comment love, and of course, a lot of exposure and constructive feedback for your writing.

    Check it out! Oh, and greetings from a fellow campaigner!

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  26. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    So adorable! I love the idea of a little kid who is scared of monsters getting mad when the monster is in the wrong place! And poking him in the belly! Love it :)

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  27. Christine RainsSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Oh, this was fantastic! The girl is scarier than the monster!

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  28. DoreenSeptember 7, 2011 at 11:44 PM

    This is just so adorable! I really enjoyed:)

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  29. Alica McKenna JohnsonSeptember 8, 2011 at 6:17 AM

    Very fun- I love Maggie

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  30. JSeptember 8, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    What a character! I'm a new follower from the campaign, and I'm looking forward to more posts!

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  31. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    You've made the short list. Congrats!

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  32. Juliana L. BrandtSeptember 8, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Thanks Callie! This has been such a blast!

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  33. K.T. HannaSeptember 9, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Oh I really like this. It's fantastic - just something a little girl would come up with.

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  34. Maeve FrazierSeptember 10, 2011 at 4:24 AM

    I loved this! Great job.

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  35. TL ConwaySeptember 10, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    I love it when I read stories like this where the "big scary thing" is really not so scary after all. Add to it the bossy little girl and I loved it!

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  36. RandySeptember 11, 2011 at 5:00 PM

    Awesome, I loved it. You have been short-listed and will be moving on to the semi-finals. Congrats

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  37. Juliana L. BrandtSeptember 11, 2011 at 6:32 PM

    Thanks, Randy! :D

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  38. StobbySeptember 12, 2011 at 3:41 AM

    Because the closet is where E.T. is supposed to be. Cute story.

    Stobby

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  39. Rebecca EminSeptember 16, 2011 at 4:29 AM

    This is a great story! I enjoyed it a lot.

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  40. Sommer LeighSeptember 18, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    Hi Juliana! My name is Sommer Leigh and I run the blog Tell Great Stories. I was asked to be one of the 12 finalist judges for the first Campaigner Challenge. I'm very honored and thrilled to let you know that you were my choice as one of the 12 finalists! Take a big bow and pat yourself on the back because your flash fiction piece was outstanding. I laughed and checked my closet before bed, just in case, so you should be very proud of yourself!

    There were a total of 384 entries which puts you in the top 3%.

    Also, there's a prize with your name on it. Not too shabby for 200 words.

    I believe Rachael Harrie will be announcing the big winner tomorrow on her blog. I don't know who the winner is yet but I'm crossing my fingers for you :-)

    Sommer Leigh
    http://www.sommerleigh.com

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  41. Rachael HarrieSeptember 19, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    Hi Juliana, congratulations on being a Finalist in my First Campaigner Challenge! I was given a list of the top 12 entries, as judged by the legion of judges, and I've since decided your place (and thus your prize).

    You've come in Second Place out of 384 entries - what an awesome result!!! I loved reading your story; it made me laugh, and is so creative. I have a daughter who I can easily imagine being another little Maggie :D

    Well done again - make sure you pop by my blog to see what you've won ;)

    Hugs,

    Rach

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  42. Amanda MilnerSeptember 19, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    So cute! Poor Grrump, he just wants to be comfy. ;) Congrats on second place!

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  43. UnknownSeptember 19, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    Congrats on your win! Great story, I love that it's for children!

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  44. LeahSeptember 20, 2011 at 12:15 AM

    Congratulations Juliana! =D

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  45. richardphughes@bellsouth.netSeptember 20, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    Congratulations. Woo Hoo.

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  46. Barbara V. EversSeptember 20, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    Congratulations on your win. I love this post.

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  47. MC RogersonSeptember 20, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Congrats! Really sweet and distinctive piece.

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  48. Jessica TherrienSeptember 20, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    Yay for your win! Super cute :)

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  49. Angela KuligSeptember 21, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    Hey congrats on your win! As part of your prize pack you won a $25 Amazon Giftcard from me! Please send me an email address to angelajkulig at gmail dot com or comment on angelakulig.com with the email address you use for Amazon and I will get your your prize.

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  50. Kate SwensonSeptember 21, 2011 at 7:57 PM

    Visiting all the winners - yours is adorable - Congrats! I too am a former MN girl (now WA) who still identifies as a midwesterner! :)

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  51. Kathy Collier MehlSeptember 23, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Congratulations Juliana. What an awesome story. I could just picture her telling the monster what to do. So cute.

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  52. UnknownSeptember 24, 2011 at 4:04 AM

    Second prize out of 384, Juliana. Wow! Better luck next time eh? Loved the story. Off to find the winner.

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