Sentence Sundays! Words!

Yes, I know it's Saturday night and not Sunday, but tomorrow I start the drive from Mississippi to Minnesota to go visit my family. I can't tell you guys how ridiculously excited I am :)

So, here's your sentence Sunday post a night early, and it's all on words, specifically word variation.

I admit, varying words is not easy. But honestly, does your reader really notice if you've used the word cacophany twice in one book? Umm, yes! At least I do.

But what this post is really about is insuring you vary how you begin a sentence.

Here's an example of a paragraph I wrote tonight:

    Twisting on my toes, I look back to Kira, her blond hair brittle in the morning sun. My shoulders sag and I turn look over the expanse of desert we are travelling across. I shuffle forward, continuing to walk up the small mound of dirt that has formed into a hill.

But what if I had written it like:

   I twist on my toes, looking back to Kira, her blond hair brittle in the morning sun. I sag my shoulders, turning back to look over the expanse of desert we are travelling across. I shuffle forward, continuing to walk up the small mound of dirt that has formed into a hill.

Every sentence here begins the same way, always beginning with the word I (yes, the format is the same, but I don't know what you call those sentences so I'm not messing with that part). Isn't the first example more interesting? The reader isn't punched in the face by an 'I' character, someone completely all about me, me, me.

If you find yourself beginning several sentences in a row with the same word: he, she, I, my, change it. Those words begin to grate on your reader and your writing will become boring as there are no surprises, and as we all know, surprises are a great thing :)

Sentence Sunday! Punctuating dialogue

I've learned over the past months that I do not punctuate dialogue correctly and I've noticed it's an easy thing for people to mix up.  So, today's lesson is on punctuating dialogue.  Aren't you excited?!

The main source of confusion is comma versus period and when to capitalize letters.

Capitalize vs Not Capitalize
"Piglet! Stop chewing on that book!" yelled Juliana.  [Here, the y on yelled is not capitalized because yelled is a continuation of the sentence 'Stop chewing on that book.' A good way to look at it is to read it as a whole sentence, Stop chewing on that book, yelled Cale.]

"Piglet! Stop chewing on that book!" The binding on the book frayed as Piglet sunk her teeth into the thick paper. [In this example, the T on The is capitalized because a new sentence is beginning.  'Stop chewing on that book' is separate from 'The binding on the book...']

The book frayed as Piglet sunk her teeth into the thick paper. "Piglet! Stop chewing on that book!" Running toward her dog, Juliana curled her fingers over the soggy, torn cover of Nevada Barr's book, Blind Descent, and realized she would have to buy a new copy. [Each of these sentences are complete on their own and so all start with a capitalized letter.]

Juliana yelled, "Stop chewing on that book!" [And here, the letter S on Stop is capitalized even though it is a continuation of the sentence 'Juliana yelled' because it is the start of dialogue.  The beginning word in dialogue is always capitalized.]

Comma vs Period

"Piglet! Stop chewing on that book," yelled Juliana. [The first time I used this example I had an exclamation point, but here I've changed it to a comma.  I would not use a period because 'yelled Juliana' is not a sentence of its own, as I said before, it's a continuation of 'Stop chewing on that book.' The comma is used to connect the tag to the dialogue.]

The book frayed as Piglet sunk her teeth into the thick paper. "Piglet! Stop chewing on that book." Running toward her dog, Juliana curled her fingers over the soggy, torn cover of Nevada Barr's, Blind Descent, and realized she would have to buy a new copy. [Just as before, all of these are new sentences and so use periods and not commas.]

"I hope," said Juliana, "That my book tasted good, Piglet." ['Said Juliana' is set off by commas because it interrupts the dialogue and is not a separate sentence of its own.]

Alright, there are a few examples and explainations for you.  If you think of any I've missed, add them in the comments section :)

Sentence Sundays!

I will be the first to admit, I am not the best writer.  Now, I may not be a great writer but I am dedicated, I work hard, I study and learn, and I want to be the best writer I can be.  And the first place to look to improve my writing is starting at the beginning: the sentence.  Thus, Sentence Sundays!  From here on out (or until I decide either I have nothing else to learn...right...or everybody votes Sentence Sundays stink) I will be posting what I learn about sentences.

As there are usually four Sundays per month, each Sunday will be designated to a different aspect of sentences.
1. Sentence Variation
2. Respect to the Greats
3. Punctuation
4. Word Choice

Since this technically is the second Sunday of the month, I'm going to leave you with one of my very favorite suspensive sentences: "He drove the car carefully, his shaggy hair whipped by the wind, his eyes hidden behind wraparound mirror shades, his mouth set in a grim smile, a .38 Police Special on the seat beside him, the corpse stuffed in the trunk."  (If any of you know who wrote this, let me know because I can't find it anywhere :(  )

Now that, is a great sentence.

Keep in mind, I will be learning as I post things here.  If you see any mistakes, please let me know!

So, I'll see you all next Sunday for a lesson on punctuation! 

(As a side note, I've had three of you take me up on my offer (for a critique partner or just to have a new set of eyes read your WIP) and a few of you say you were interested.  If you're still interested, or are anytime in the next couple months, let me know!  The offer is still standing :)

Note: in light of Kristen Lamb's, (who wrote We Are Not Alone (#MyWANA on Twitter)), post on why writers blogging about writing is bad, Sentence Sunday's will be the days of the week I blog on writing.  Tuesdays and Fridays will be my other blogging days, for other fun things :)