tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post6319870669059533408..comments2024-02-14T05:11:09.017-08:00Comments on I Aspire to be...: The First ParagraphJuliana L. Brandthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15903360100714298208noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-23439214498431588082011-02-05T08:58:32.625-08:002011-02-05T08:58:32.625-08:00FYI--Bernette is Aunt Lynn, and not Grandma Bunny!...FYI--Bernette is Aunt Lynn, and not Grandma Bunny!Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14561963346505088260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-39265286406610591682011-02-05T08:56:45.801-08:002011-02-05T08:56:45.801-08:00I wish I knew where Henry was in relation to "...I wish I knew where Henry was in relation to "her." Is he sitting across the table from her? Peeking around the corner from the kitchen? It makes a difference to me, for some reason. I'm guessing he's peeking from somewhere, otherwise the childish glee he exhibits might cue the soup-eater that something is amiss...Does Henry know the soup is poisoned because he actually did it? The apparently simple paragraph has raised a whole host of questions for me--ones that I would love to have answered by continuing to read, so it seems that you've got me hooked. Gosh, what happens next?!?Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14561963346505088260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-68653826165096466072011-01-28T07:26:33.307-08:002011-01-28T07:26:33.307-08:00Thanks Susie. You should post again on your blog!...Thanks Susie. You should post again on your blog!Juliana L. Brandthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903360100714298208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-5657116229914800222011-01-27T21:34:48.226-08:002011-01-27T21:34:48.226-08:00Hey Juliana Stumbled on your blog by way of Facebo...Hey Juliana Stumbled on your blog by way of Facebook. Way to go and keep writing. Don't forget you have another writer in your network of support. Haven't posted for a while but for what it's worth ... http://nobrokenbones.wordpress.com/<br /><br />:-) Love from MN, SusieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06161474466429386314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-12084325473353513042011-01-26T07:25:17.749-08:002011-01-26T07:25:17.749-08:00Sophia, I'm so glad you liked my paragraph and...Sophia, I'm so glad you liked my paragraph and came to visit!<br /><br />Thanks, Dad for your thoughts. I liked that little twist too!Juliana L. Brandthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903360100714298208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-13595573479424534762011-01-26T05:38:36.559-08:002011-01-26T05:38:36.559-08:00This first paragraph takes a giant turn with Henry...This first paragraph takes a giant turn with Henry's response, "with childish glee". Obviously that's a completely inapropriate response for a who we assume might be an adult, and so throws LOTS of questions up in the air for the reader! Yep, clean, simple, quick writing in your paragraph, but that one phrase of Henry's response really turns on the story's conflict!Randymanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01282879892581206259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-64570778893954358512011-01-25T21:29:00.161-08:002011-01-25T21:29:00.161-08:00I liked your first paragraph entry so much I had t...I liked your first paragraph entry so much I had to come to your blog and say hi!Sophia Changhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10946233873722107937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-88626560323989963012011-01-25T15:38:52.128-08:002011-01-25T15:38:52.128-08:00Thank you! I'm so glad you checked out my blo...Thank you! I'm so glad you checked out my blog and liked the paragraph :)Juliana L. Brandthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903360100714298208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8134980047130728930.post-27982293670936472922011-01-25T13:10:57.897-08:002011-01-25T13:10:57.897-08:00I just read your first paragraph and thought I'...I just read your first paragraph and thought I'd let you know that I really liked it. Good job.Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00685341739870191402noreply@blogger.com